An Ode to Nutella

The following true story contains graphic details of cocoa flavored hazelnut spread as well as multiple references to bodily waste functions, which in our house is referred to as “poop.” If such topics of conversation offend you, I apologize, and highly suggest avoiding coming to my house during play groups. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty. Read at your own risk. And definitely read before stopping by my house for a visit, as you are likely to witness a scene similar to the one referenced below. Consider this my apology in advance….

An Ode to Nutella

1. You taste like chocolate that I can eat for breakfast.
2. The sight of your lid sitting all alone on my table, unaccompanied by the container, strikes fear into my very heart.
3. You are literally the only food that all three of my children will eat without complaining. Even the bread I spread you on causes drama and tears, because CRUST is attached to it.
4. You look like poop smeared across my table.
5. All I need is a spoon and my very own jar that I don’t have to share with my kids, and I’m happy.
6. You look like poop smeared across my kitchen counter.
7. You taste like hope and dreams.
8. You look like poop smeared across my playroom rug.
9. You bring peace on earth, and by earth, I mean my house.
10. You look like poop smeared across my living room couch.
11. You are solely responsible for the fact that my children are still growing and have not withered away from starvation caused by stubbornness.
12. You look like poop smeared across my bathroom sink, toilet, and hand towel.
13. You are the one thing, besides coffee, that will motivate me to bravely take all three of my children into a grocery store when we are running low. I cannot face a day without you!
14. You look like poop smeared on my arm, and a feeling of dread and horror washes over me every time I discover you on my skin. Because, truthfully, it takes a sniff test to figure out what you are, and that hasn’t always gone well.
15. The 3 minutes of silence that you add to my day while my children are happily eating are worth every mistaken poop scare (and the occasional real poop mix up, but let’s not talk about that right now. My kids are eating, and I only have about 18 seconds left before they start whining again.)

“It wasn’t me……”

Nutella is a registered trademark (but I don’t know how to make the fancy little R with a circle, so please imagine it is in here,) and in no way supports or sponsors this post. In fact, the company would probably be horrified upon reading it. Thanks, Nutella, for creating such a delicious product that assists in the fight to end hunger by feeding starving children, namely, mine.

Actual footage of my three year old COVERED in Nutella. WHY?!?!?

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Have a beautiful mess-free day!
Sandy

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